Held
by LambdaBern
Summary: Just a good old shippy cuddling fic, SatoRika version. '...if it was Rika, Satoko didn't mind being held like that at night.'


On most nights, Rika would fling an arm around Satoko's waist, pulling the two of them closely together, her head buried in Satoko's back or neck.

Satoko didn't know what to make of it at first. She pondered countless reasons as to why Rika did it. Perhaps she just grabbed things in her sleep, perhaps she liked cuddling, maybe she got cold at night. Satoko even wondered if Rika was doing it for her sake.

Maybe she thought that Satoko needed all the extra comfort she could get due to all the hardships she faced in her life in the past, especially nii-nii's recent disappearance. Rika may have thought that Satoko needed to be held at night or else she'd cry or have nightmares.

Satoko really hoped it wasn't that. She had already learned to grow up and get rid of that sort of small weakness at least. She wouldn't cry anymore, ever, she especially wouldn't bawl in someone else's home, the home of Rika who had so kindly shared and let Satoko stay there. She wouldn't cry in Rika's home, she had already burdened her so much, it would be so sinful to cry in her home now.

And nii-nii would be disappointed in her again. He would be so disappointed if she began to leech off of Rika now...

Anyhow, Satoko even considered that Rika did it for her own sake. Perhaps she was the one who was afraid of crying and having nightmares. She had lost her parents too, and was then shouldered with the responsibility of being the next head of the Furude family prematurely, and she had so many responsibilities for the Watanagashi festival as well. And unlike Satoko, Rika had the right to be upset about things.

Satoko even noticed that sometimes it seemed like Rika was just faking cheerfulness, or maybe that was just strange paranoia speaking.

Again, Satoko was most likely just overthinking things, maybe Rika really did just get cold during the night. Satoko even considered that...she did it because she _wanted_ to. But that was probably the most ridiculous theory of all, why would Rika _want_ to hold the person burdening her, the disgusting girl who cornered Satoshi, the one whose fault it was that Rika was punished years ago for breaking something in the shrine when it wasn't even Rika but her.

If Rika knew she would never forgive Satoko. How else would she react knowing that Satoko did nothing watch, fearing the thought of confessing. Satoko didn't deserve Rika's outstretched hand offering her a new place to live.

Satoko tried to shake those painful thoughts out of her head. She needs to forget those thoughts, strive to be a better person, that's why shes doing the things she's doing now. Even if she has to endure the village's hatred toward her, even if she has to endure nii-nii being gone, even if she has to crawl on her knees for the rest of her life, she will get stronger. She will atone for everything.

But the thought that she could never atone for betraying Rika or nii-nii kept nagging at her. When she finally managed to chase away those thoughts, she pondered some more.

Satoko even had this uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that Rika was protecting her. Not as in protecting her from her past this time, however. But protecting her from danger. From something...from some_one _even. Protecting _them _from some kind of threat. But this just had to be some odd paranoia. Nothing was wrong. Satoko told herself that she had to stop thinking things like this, and that it's not like anyone is out to get her.

And anyway...in the end Satoko didn't really mind. And she saw no reason in risking damaging Rika's feelings by asking her about it or telling her to stop. Satoko had many issues with physical contact however, and not many were allowed to touch her. When Keiichi flicked her nose, even though she knew he was being his dumb self and playing with her, she had to try so hard to push back the extreme discomfort she felt.

However, Rika and her were quite physical with each other, Rika was one of the few people allowed to touch her, whether it was hugging or head patting, or some playful wrestling. And if it was Rika, Satoko didn't mind being held like that at night.

If it's Rika...

xxxxx

And on some nights, Rika would also put one of her hands on top of one of Satoko's, gently intertwining their fingers.

xxxxx

A/N: This was supposed to be very short and very fluffy and happy. What happened.

I do like the final sentence though.


End file.
